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  • Writer's pictureRebecca_Bekz

Before closing chapter are some things I have learnt

It's my birthday today!! What a blessing !! I started recapping on all the things I had gone through and overcome this past year and began to jot them down. 31 had it's fair share of tears, disappointments and disrespect!! However, it also exposed me to a few lifelong gems. There were many times I had to take a step back and acknowledge, take accountability , learn from things and my gosh heal from things.

Only right that I share in hopes that it may be of benefit to someone else 😊:

· I had to learn to stop being nice at the detriment of my own peace. I had the tendency to not speak up for myself because I had got in the habit of putting other’s needs/feelings above my own. I now make sure I speak my piece for my peace!

· If being the villain in someone else’s story is the result of protecting your own peace and putting yourself first. Then what a beautiful position to play in someone else’s story. Selfish/self-full either way it’s my approach now.

· I learnt that seeking help does not make me weak, struggle does not mean I’m failing. The strength lies in owning your shit and being bold enough to do something about it. Post-natal depression, depression, anxiety is not who I am but I acknowledge and accept its played and still at times plays big part in my life story .

· I’m allowed to turn the page in my own book of life as many times as I like. I cannot erase the past but I’m all for better storylines in the present and future.

· The past is the past, I no longer live there. however, I do own full responsibility for actions caused whilst living there. I just no longer feel the need to keep revisiting. Lots of love and light though to those still stuck there.

· Be mindful what you put out about your life; it may be your life but its others entertainment.

· I am allowed to reinvent myself as many times as I dyuam well like!!

· The urge for others to see, hear and accept you will NEVER be fulfilling if you are unable to do that for yourself. It’s literally like pouring water into something with little holes, it will only stay full for so long.

· You can actually think yourself" in love" with someone (this is a whole separate blog) I really get the whole “ I thought I was in love” .Sometimes it's not even love its just habit/attachment.

· Never judge anyone on their story, the same person you judge today, could be reference point for how you will overcome the similar situation.

· Not everyone has your heart and that’s okay. It’s the reason why its so much more precious when you come across those that do.

· Hurt people, hurt people! That does not mean you have to accept it, but just be mindful not to become a part of the cycle. Let that cycle finish with you. They go low, you go high. Leave the rest to the universal law.

· There’s a difference between having a partner and just having company. If you are still doing everything by yourself, to the extent it makes no difference whether that person is in your household or not .. you do not have a partner you have company. Grieve accordingly.

· Sometimes you just hold your L and be humble. Sometimes you are the reason the math is not mathing.

· If everyone around you is telling you someone is no good for you and you can do better, chances are that person really Is no good for you and you can do better.

· You can go above and beyond for someone, and they never appreciate it but that's simply because they were never the person you were supposed to be going above and beyond for in the first place.

· A toxic/ abusive relationship is a hell of thing to go through and recover from, it is far from a smooth or quick process to overcome. Even trying to regulate your nervous system can be challenging . You would think once your out of it that's it .. NOPE, healing/ shadow work definitely needs to be done

· Never get into a relationship or any situation in the hopes of feeling total completion from it. Another person entering your life should be nothing more than an addition to the feeling of completion you already have.

· Be mindful of the level you are at when you connect with someone, as you run the chance of attracting someone at your current frequency. If you are vibrating on a low frequency, you may attract someone that mirrors that, At that time it may feel comfortable. However, when you begin to evolve and that person is still at the frequency/level you met them they can become a hindrance and even feel like a liability. Especially if they are not willing to evolve with you.

· If you leave a relationship mentally, follow through physically as well. It really does cause a lot of mess and resentment.

· When you are not meant to be with someone, I promise you!! The universe will find a way to end it. You may be given several opportunities until eventually it no longer becomes your decision.

· This was the most beautiful lesson... Sometimes especially in a toxic, non-beneficial situation to your life and your well-being. Someone not choosing you, is you being chose!! (Let me land lol) … they have chosen for you to no longer be a part of a low vibrational cycle. You now have the opportunity that you were not taking to be loved correctly, spoken to correctly, provided for and protected. That feeling of having another person to depend on and be your safe place is indescribable and would have never been experienced for some of us if we were “chosen” and stuck in a dead-end cycle. The level of selfless and gentle you become is just different. When you find a genuine soul that you can see and feel that they have your best intentions is a whole different feeling in itself, it can take you from being frustrated and focused that your needs are not being met, to wanting to make sure that your partner is in a place that he can mentally give you what you need and vice versa.

· Becoming aware of how little you accepted and settled for allows you to also embark on a self-love journey. It’s a draining, challenging and on-going journey but the better you become the better you attract.

Roll on 32…

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